Read from some other mommie's blogs that there is a TAG going on about SAHM vs FTWM.
How timely, even though nobody tagged me, but I am in a great dilema....
My former employer (in S'pore) has a possible upcoming headcount and is asking me if I am interested. Its a contract job, the project will kick off in early 2008, and will last for 3 yrs.
I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tempted. It means alot for me to join back the workforce. It also means alot of adjustment and sacrifice from the family.
Kid will have to be seperated from Daddy while he continues to live and work in Canada. They have never been seperated for more than a day as my hubby need not travel for his job all these years. We go holiday, supermarket, shopping, makan, cinema....everywhere with the kid.
I will probably have to put her at a full-day childcare / school once again when I am back in S'pore. I have rented my entire flat to my relative, I have to look for alternative place to stay, property market is rocket high now in S'pore. I need to get a car to get around.
I will be almost like a single-parent handling the kid alone in S'pore.
We have been talking about it......no conclusion.
Its at the expense of my family, in order to fulfill my personal selfish ambition (yuks!) as a FTWM.
Do I enjoy being a SAHM for the past 9mths? Yes, I sincerely do. I can see the "reward".
Did I enjoy the life of a FTWM? Yes, I did too.
Which one do I prefer more?
I don't know................I really don't know.
6 comments:
hi,
I come into your blog thru earth ember. Your entry regarding this is very close to my heart. Just want to share my experience.
My hubby left for US to work last year and cos I have a good job here, I din want to go. So my boy and I stayed behind in singapore, staying with my parents and renting out our place. It was ok to manage cos my parents help and my boy goes to childcare. But my boy misses his dad so much that he started calling my fren's hubby as daddy and basically cling onto him so much that he even wanted to go home with them. And also his teacher said that his daddy absence have a impact subtly cos in school, when other children are talking about their outing with their daddies, my boy just either kept very quiet or made lots of noise and insisted on talking about mummies....
so ...i make a difficult decision to leave my job and join my hubby in US....forgoing my bonus in oct....abit heartpain...but decided not to think about it but just move ahead....
All the best to whatever decision you have made.....:)
Hi LittleGraffi
Thank you your heartfelt note. It certainly does add a penny to our thots......seriously, appreciate!
This is a tough decision. Like you, I would very much like to rejoin the workforce too, for a practical reason of wanting to feel 'useful' and being financially independent again. Unfortunately, 3 years is a long time and unless Daddy can return frequently to Sg or you both can travel out to Canada for visits, it's gg to be tough on everyone. Have you checked out the work prospects in Canada?
Hi Mel, I can understand your dilemma. I gave up my job and well, sort of life to be in UK although I'm going home soon. Initially, I really felt so lonely here and missed working. However, 3 years on, I think I have spent the best time in my life here for my child. I now have to go back to being a FTWM and I have my own set of fear! Gosh! What a turn of tide for me! I have been thinking about it lately, too! Thanks for sharing!
My husband always says, a family should stay together. I guess he does have some point there. However, I understand 100% what you are going through, too. Perhaps think about what is more important to you, maybe that will help? I know how difficult such a decision can be. *Hugs*
BTW, you are tagged!!! Have fun!
Domestic Rat
Yah, exactly, the feeling of wanting to be "useful".....but then again, being a SAHM, gives me another perspective of being "useful", just a matter of coming to terms with it for now....
that's why I stress, its a personal selfish ambition .....
Alternative-Mom
Thanks for sharing....
Little comments from everyone does help me to put thots into our decision. Indeed, a family SHOULD stay together....
Take your time to adjust when you are back in SG. You may suffer from what I call "minor reverse culture shock". We felt that after we returned from UK to SG after 2 yrs. Also, being a full time working person w/o kid and a FTWM does make a difference in SG. It really depends ALOT on your kindness and mercy of your boss....
I had a great boss who allowed me to work from home whenever I needed...thats why lah....
Keep us posted when you return!
Hi Mel, thanks for wanring me! I know what you mean! Life will defnitely be different, in fact, I'm struggling so with my fear now! I'm not quite under the mercy of my boss, I know she is going to be kind because I've had telconference with her already and she has been especially kind to me. My problem will be missing all that freedom and time I have with my child, and of course, choosing time between, what you call selfish ambition (I'm passionate about my work and I'm just afriad I'd be too much into it) and giving time to my child and family. And worst of all, my job won't allow me to work from home!!! I will keep you posted! I guess you'd read about my FEAR first!
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